FOX hires Britney Spears to sing baseball theme song.

Following the lead of NBC and ABC, who hired musical artists Pink and the Pussycat Dolls, respectively, the FOX network yesterday hired embattled musician Britney Spears to sing the theme for the network's upcoming baseball broadcasts.

Spears, clad in a skin tight David Ortiz jersey and holding one of her children, will sing "Oops, I Did It Again", with the lyrics altered to fit a baseball broadcast. For example, one of the lyrics will be "Oops, I hit it again, I think I'm in glove." The music will be set to highlights of last year's Yankees-Red Sox games.

FOX Sports executive producer Ed Goren had this to say:

"Here at FOX, we have a tradition of pushing the envelope. Who can better represent FOX attitude than someone who is in and out of rehab, has recently shaved her head, and is liable to give viewers a spontaneous money shot?"

Baseball traditionalists are apparently appalled. Former baseball broadcaster Bob Costas allegedly burst into a profanity-spewing tirade upon hearing the news, before collapsing in a heap of urine and tears. While naming FOX the "Worst Person in the World" for the 667th time during a live edition of MSNBC's Countdown, host Keith Olbermann's head exploded. And, horrified by the news, former Seinfeld actor Michael Richards yelled the "n-word" several times before walking off stage during his performance at the Laugh Factory.